By SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE FACT-CHECKING
PUBLISHED: 17:43 EST, 8 September 2012
Caption: Asexuals enjoy baking, but they don’t believe in heart-shaped cookies, and thus smash them in hate-filled rage.
Roughly 1% of the world’s population is ‘asexual,’ according to experts. This means that 70 million people feel no sexual attraction to other human beings, which basically means they hate everybody.
“I don’t hate everybody,” says some asexual somewhere (age 23). ”I actually like a lot of people. I’m just not sexually attracted to them.”
As the above quote demonstrates, asexuals suffer from a dearth of human emotions. Asexuals don’t feel the need to form bonds with other people, and enjoy living alone in cardboard boxes in the woods. A large percentage of them (74.3%, according to a study conducted in the UK) enjoy playing sad songs on slightly out-of-tune ukuleles.
“Asexuality is caused by alien waves from space,” says Anthony Bogaert, who is in Canada and also a professor. At least, he probably said something like that; the Daily Mail included that quote and we couldn’t be bothered to fact-check.
Experts say that ‘asexuals’ are only now ‘coming out’ so they can recruit young, untainted minds to their cause. Their ultimate goal is to give everyone diabetes from non-heart-shaped cookies, so that people stop having sex.
“There are a lot of misconceptions about asexuality in the media,” says illegally hot David Jay, the founder of AVEN, who is so attractive it makes us sad that he is asexual. He said other stuff too, but we were too busy ogling him to pay attention.
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What’s the deal with all the cake?
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Mythical Asexual is a great info-comic for asexuals! I particularly liked this one!
I made some ace pride shirts!
Purple T-shirts (sadly no purple hoodies available)
I’d snug in that.
We recently received this email.
“My name is David Seitz and I’m a freelance journalist based in Toronto. I’m writing a story for the Toronto branch of the LGBTQ publication Xtra! about asexual community and organizing. Asexuality has had a bit of visibility in Toronto media over the last few years, but little of the coverage has focused on what’s happening locally. This despite the fact that asexuals have had entries in the past several Toronto Pride parades.
The angle of the story is fairly straightforward: raising visibility and awareness. I understand that no one in a minoritized community can be asked to speak for all member of that group. I am interested in different people’s views on the relationship between asexuality and other forms of historically marginalized identification.
I would like to connect with Ontario-based folks who would be willing to speak with me. It’s really important to me that my interviewees feel comfortable and that their preferred level of visibility is respected. Any level of confidentiality or disclosure — from anonymity to full name — is perfectly fine.”
If you’re interested in taking part, please email both David directly at email@example.com and also the Project Team at firstname.lastname@example.org; we’ll let you know any further information we find out about this piece.
Please also poke anyone you know of in the area, especially those who marched in Toronto pride.
Worldpride 2014 is in Toronto, and having a good piece here would be an excellent early preparation for that.
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Girls with Slingshots (actually really likes us, don’t get mad!) FINALLY!! CONFIRMATION OF AN ASEXUAL CHARACTER!!!!
CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE?!
For those who are new to GSS, Jamie and Hazel (pictured above) are best friends. Jamie has been in a relationship with Erin for quite some time, it’s a really adorable, loving, committed and sensitive relationship that doesn’t involve sex. It’s been speculated that Erin is asexual (her bio says “she’s not sure about sex”) but now it is confirmed!
I NEED ANOTHER HIGH FIVE!
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From Laughing Squid. (<- click there)
CALLING ALL SOUTHERN INDIANA ACES & ALLIES!
Do you want to help increase asexual visibility in Southern Indiana? Bloomington Aces and Allies will be an age-diverse group that welcomes all asexual people and allies. The first call-out meeting will be:
March 22d from 5-7 p.m.
Memorial Hall East, Room 139
1021 East Third Street
Bloomington, IN 47405
Please mark your calendars and share on your social networks! If you have any questions please contact Regina Wright at email@example.com.
On Mon, Mar 5, 2012 at 8:18 AM, Regina Wright <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:CALLING ALL ASEXUALS & ALLIES!
Do you want to help increase asexual visibility in Southern Indiana? Regina Wright, a gender studies doctoral student at Indiana University Bloomington, is working to form an asexual activist, support, and social group in Bloomington, Indiana. This will be an age-diverse group that welcomes all asexual people and allies. If you have any questions and/or are interested in being involved in the creation of this group, please e-mail Regina at email@example.com.
If there isn’t cake, well….just make sure there’s cake.
[TW] Acephobia, rape culture, sexist language.
Also, please take note that the comments on this article are just as bad and as disgusting as the article itself!
Guys, I really need your help here.
This article right here: This right here badly needs our attention.
Whoever wrote it has an extremely personal vendetta against asexuality and has gone out of their way to insult and make extremely crude, slanderous remarks about another asexual person and asexuals in general. This isn’t the normal run-off-the-mill prodding, jesting, this is extremely derogatory and disgusting and I advise extreme caution. We need to comment bomb the hell out of it and tell this person that this kind of disgusting behaviour is not acceptable!
If there is any way to report/shut down this user, I would like to know, this goes beyond disgusting.
Do it now!
Oh gosh Jenni ;; This is awful…
Fellow cake-lovin’-aces, it is time to put on our serious face.
The human shape is just a disguise to allow them to more easily hunt and devour cakes, their only prey.
SHIT, THEY’RE ONTO US.
If asexuals are people who never think or have thought about sex, then, wait for it, if you put them in a room with a machine that at a random moment may or may not tell the asexual about sex, then close the door, THEY’RE A SCHROEDINGER ASEXUAL. YOU NEVER KNOW IF THEY’RE ASEXUAL OR NOT.
*Findings based on unobtrusive observation and speculation.
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